Operation Margarine

It doesn't have to make sense

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      29 Jul 2010

      Public Health minister thinks we don't understand the word obese.

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      Anne Milton, the new public health minister, that heavyweight ministerial position that neither you nor I knew existed until she decided to say something nonsensical this morning, has decided that the word "obese" might confuse us and that doctors should instead just tell you you're fat.


      Anne reckons it's about time doctors stopped talking in that crazy "technical jargon" and told us straight.

      She said: "If I look in the mirror and think I am obese I think I am less worried than if I think I am fat."

      Yeah well that's because you're an absolute moron. The word obese has far more impact that fat. Fat is everyday, fat is mundane, fat is: "Oh you know, Sarah the fat girl who works in marketing the one with the lazy eye and the limp... yeah she fancies you!"

      "Does she? Tell her I don't date fat chicks."

      Obese is medical and sterile. It's hospital and heart attacks. It's a problem. It's all those waddling twats on ITV2 and BBC3 on TV shows called "Fat Farm," "Diet Doctor" and "The Great Big Wheezing Obese Shootout at the Okay Coral" -- maybe not that last one (though it would be awesome to see morbidly obese people re-enacting famous shoot-outs from the Wild West.)

      Milton's comments just show the contempt with which the Tories regard the broader public -- they're suggesting that the average person doesn't understand the word obese and they do. 

      Oh and by the way Anne, shut up.
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      28 Jul 2010

      Jeremy Hunt continues the Tories' war of ideology slashing the Film Council

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      Jeremy Hunt, the Culture, Media and Sport minister has decided that the Film Council is too expensive as has to go. Only, actually, the Film Council makes money, roughly 400% on investments. By cutting it, he is losing money.

      Hunt should have lost his job earlier in the year after showing catastrophic ignorance suggesting that football hooliganism played a part in the Hilsborough disaster, which it absolutely didn't. Had the news agenda at the time not been such a fraught place, he might have found the ire of the media more savage and calls for his head might have been more vociferous.

      He later claimed that he knew Hilsborough had nothing to do with hooligans and misspoke. Which seems frankly like the back-tracking of an ignorant Tory whose nearest brush with football hooliganism is walking past a copy of ID on the bargain rail in HMV. Or wherever the Tories buy their DVDs, no doubt their expense receipts will will tell us.

      Luckily for the tweed-sporting (he 

      actually
       wore a tweed shooting jacket on his first appearance on Sky Sports New) new minister the news-media was too busy circle-jerking over the practicalities of the newcoalition government, itself, a fairly joyless circle-jerk.

      Clearly Hunt doesn't like to stray far from his whole "I'm an ignorant moron" shtick, today announcing that the Film Council would be dissolved because and money would go directly to film makers. But who, prey tell, is going to distribute that money, you can't do it personally can you Mr Hunt, can you? Far too busy for that. Too busy maintaining that dreadful 12-year-old's gelled quiff. What we need is some sort of agency, or council to access filmmaker's bids for money... Wait a minute.

      The thing is. This isn't even about film-making or the Film Council, well it is, but more broadly it's about a Tory war on everything Labour achieved during its time in power. They are dismantling all the good things Labour did in the name of "cuts", but it's got nothing to do with cuts. It's a form or retroactive historical re-writing. There is always a bit of upheaval when a new government takes over, but to so catastrophically lay waste to everything that existed before is vindictive and it's immoral.

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      28 Jul 2010

      So now you know

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      Jams

      I've just always wondered what the difference was.

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      19 Jul 2010

      The hard sell

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      15 Jul 2010

      Love the new Man United kit

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      Newmanukit

      Oh didn't I mention? Yeah, me, massive Man U fan. I am from Manchester though, so it's okay.

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      9 Jul 2010

      James Delingpole is helping nobody

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      James Delingpole is an interesting man. Today he blogged that he could
      no longer enjoy Peep Show because one of the actors in it, David
      Mitchell, disagrees with him about climate change.

      Now if you can see the logic there please point it out to me because I
      can't, and I've looked. I mean if he found out that David Mitchell was
      a Nazi or Man City fan or something I could understand. I could see
      that then it might be difficult to enjoy Peep Show in quite the same
      way.

      But he's not, he just disagrees with you about climate change.

      The problem I have with James Delingpole is that as opposed to putting
      forward a cogent balanced opposition to climate change science he just
      shrieks in that stereotypically indignant, pejorative, histrionic way
      that all bad sceptics do. He doesn't actually seem interested in
      debating the evidence, rather he'd prefer to get into self-regarding
      arguments with other columnists to further his own celebrity.

      His blog consists solely of posts where he either slags off, most
      elegantly, climate change believers or responds to other columnists
      who have called him names.

      He doesn't see that by being so melodramatically convulsed by anyone
      or anything that believes or has anything to do with climate change he
      is undermining his very cause.

      People can see him saying stupid things like Peep Show is shit because
      David Mitchell thinks climate change is real and think to themselves,
      "Ahh a shrieking indignant climate change sceptic -- I'll just pop him
      in this neat little pigeon hole and never listen to another word he
      says".

      There is a balanced, evidenced opposition to climate change -- I've
      read some it, and I've read the argument for it. Whether it's
      happening or not... I don't know. But I know that James Delingpole is
      making it a lot easier for people to ignore the argument against it.

      Even if, even if, climate change is all bollocks and the polar ice cap
      hasn't receded like all that silly empirical evidence shows it has, is
      it such a bad thing that we're trying to live in a cleaner
      environment?

      I live on Holloway Road and the air quality round here is nothing
      short of disgusting. Now if everyone started driving electric or
      hydrogen powered cars that would improve. The fact is pollution is a
      massive problem beyond just climate change. It causes disease, and
      generally makes the world a less pleasant place to be.

      I don't think climate change should be used as a stick to beat the
      poor or to stymie emerging economies. I don't think people should be
      priced off the roads or out of the sky. And yes, there are, climate
      change extremists who hijack the debate and say disproportionate
      things. So maybe the best thing we can do is take the most extreme 20%
      on either side and cut them out, ignore them, just leave them to snarl
      at each other from their respective apocalypse bunkers.

      That includes you Delingpole.

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      6 Jul 2010

      Why I choose not to believe Anna Richardson is a real human-being

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      This first line should start with "because" shouldn't it? And I tried
      to do that, but the ensuing sentence was so long and involved that it
      somewhat ran out of steam. Hence I chose to start it with that one --
      the one up there.

      The fact is I was left with no option other than to believe that she
      isn't a human. Because if she is that aligns us is some way. Even if
      it is just on a same-species level. But that fact is if I was to share
      just that ground with her I'd have to destroy myself and the rest of
      humanity because they too share that commonality.

      You're being a bit histrionic there Oli you're no doubt saying to
      yourself, however I genuinely assure you I'm not. That is genuinely
      how I feel. And let me tell you why.

      Anna Richardson's TV shows: The Sex Education Show, The Sex Education
      Show vs Porn and The Sex Education Show -- Am I Normal?

      These three TV shows are the most warped, underhand exploitation of
      sex and children that have ever been broadcast on British TV.

      If you haven't seen them, essentially what happens is Anna shows kids
      some infected cocks and naked men and women then asks them leading
      questions to make them seem ignorant and judgemental.

      For example in one instance she places five naked men in front of a
      hall of school children and asks them to point out the gay one.

      The kids diligently take punts on the most effeminate one or the
      thinnest one or the one with the plucked eyebrows.

      It isn't until one kids says, almost unwittingly, "they all look the
      same," that she pounces.

      "Thank you -- of course you can't tell if people are gay just by
      looking at them." she announces triumphantly. Well why were fucking
      asking them to you cow? To make them look stupid and ignorant? Because
      it's got nothing to do with educating them. If you wanted to educate
      them you'd explain that homosexuality is merely a sexual preference
      and like any way of life comes with a culture of its own that some
      people choose to buy into more than others. The fact is actually, with
      some gay men, you very much can tell they're gay and they want you to
      be able to.

      Go on Anna why not teach them about homosexuality? Teach them about
      the way the government still doesn't give married gay couples the same
      tax-breaks as a married heterosexual couple? And teach them about
      Stonewall and section 28? Surely if they're old enough to see an
      infected cervix they can handle it. Oh wait no, you're not going to
      because actually all you're interested in doing is making a piece of
      sensationalist TV for tutting, holier-than-thou, organic munching,
      third sector, 30-something, pseudo-professionals to feel superior to.

      It gets worse in her basement brow muff-fest The Sex Education Show vs
      Porn she claimed to have reached a child porn site after just 10
      minutes of clicking on pop-ups from mainstream porn sites.

      This is patently lies. As a man, a man with access to the Internet, I
      have, I'll admit, seen my fair share of porn. And in all my years, my
      cumulative hours of horny surfing, I have never been guided to even
      one "inappropriate site" and neither have any of my male friends.

      That she made this clearly fraudulent claim explicitly to align legal,
      consensual, erotic porn, the kind your parents watch, the kind your
      nextdoor neighbour watches, the kind your boss, your dentist, your
      pharmacist, your fucking yoga instructor watches, with something so
      morally abhorrent as child-porn shows how warped and puritanical this
      woman is.

      Anna Richardson is part of the "campaign-celebrity" culture. A
      movement that dictates every celebrity post Jamie Oliver's school
      dinners must have a campaign. It probably serves as a way to fill the
      gap in their self-esteem between the fame they've accrued and the
      talent they actually have.

      The fact is that sex, in most circumstances, even the kinky ones, is
      sanitary. No matter how much we want to pretend otherwise. Anna
      Richardson's attempt so sanitise sex actually has the opposite affect
      as it alienates all those people who come to sex via other means than
      her textbook, despotic, dictatorial, prescriptive outlook.

      I myself lost my virginity at an early age. An age she'd call heinous
      and disgusting, but the fact is it's just sex. I was safe and now I
      have, what I would consider, a very healthy attitude to sex.

      What she she fails to see, so profoundly, is that like anything in
      life, sex means different things to different people. And she can't
      handle that. In fact she hates it. She hates it because secretly she
      hates sex and the transgressive, subversive, sexy stuff she thinks it
      stands for but actually it doesn't.

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      5 Jul 2010

      Sometimes I really love my job

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      1cal-megged

      Because I get to photoshop (badly) images like this one...

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      28 May 2010

      This is a test

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      While we were down at Apple's Regent's Street store, surrounded by hordes of would-be iPadders, we chatted with tech blogger and notorious Apple sympathiser Richard Goodwin of knowyourmobile.com about whether Steve Jobs' new thingamedoodle is really worth all your hard-earned ipounds. 

      While we were down at Apple's Regent's Street store, surrounded by hordes of would-be iPadders, we chatted with tech blogger and notorious Apple sympathiser Richard Goodwin of knowyourmobile.com about whether Steve Jobs' new thingamedoodle is really worth all your hard-earned ipounds. 

      While we were down at Apple's Regent's Street store, surrounded by hordes of would-be iPadders, we chatted with tech blogger and notorious Apple sympathiser Richard Goodwin of knowyourmobile.com about whether Steve Jobs' new thingamedoodle is really worth all your hard-earned ipounds. 

      While we were down at Apple's Regent's Street store, surrounded by hordes of would-be iPadders, we chatted with tech blogger and notorious Apple sympathiser Richard Goodwin of knowyourmobile.com about whether Steve Jobs' new thingamedoodle is really worth all your hard-earned ipounds. 


      (download)
      Click here to download:
      This_is_a_test.zip (2.22 MB)

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      1 Mar 2010

      Patti Smith's autobiography is Radio 4's book of the week. She's reading it too. Awesome.

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  • Operation Margarine

    I am the Editor of the irreverent and often, utterly brilliant, website The Waterboarder (thewaterboarder.com). I am also a freelance music, tech and sport journalist. This blog will be purely for things I love and things I hate, and a round-up of all my articles.

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